Reading My Eyes
by AngelCakes4913
Summary: Dark chocolate locks cascade down, passed her shoulders. Eyes narrowed in focus as dark brown eyes scan over every word of text. Legs crossed over the other in another one of those short skirts that makes my mouth dry. I hated this. Hated the fact that I know it's not right to want her, to have her, and have to see her every day. [Thundercest] (Sad Beautiful Tragic Challenge)


**A/N: This was a tough challenge because I hate writing in first person, it's very difficult to write in someone else's perspective and stick with it. Hopefully I did a decent job here. I also wanted to get this story out as soon as possible, because college is starting to get more difficult, so I don't know when I'll have time to write and I didn't want to miss the deadline.**

**Good luck to everyone else writing as well! Cheers!**

She's just sitting there, on the couch, her nose buried in one of her lame girly books about relationships. My feet stop dead in their tracks, I want to get a good look at her before that pretty face squishes in annoyance.

Dark chocolate locks cascade down, passed her shoulders. Eyes narrowed in focus as dark brown eyes scan over every word of text. Legs crossed over the other in another one of those short skirts that makes my mouth dry. There's nothing going on, just the occasional sounds of turning pages that echo in the empty home.

A large part of me wants to bother her, just for the satisfaction of taking her attention away from that dumb book and onto me. Another part is saying walk away, leave her be before that familiar desire _burns_ until I can't ignore it.

I don't want to feel this way but I do, I want her for myself. I want to take that innocence away corrupt it, and watch it crash over in waves. I'm curious. What would sounds would she make if I touched her? What sounds could _we_ make together under the sheets?

Fantasies that bug me now not only in my sleep, but in my daydreams. And with that I turn back down to the stairs in my room, to suffer _alone_.

* * *

A soft knock.

"_Max, breakfast is ready."_

"_Go away."_ I groan and turn over on my pillow.

"_Whoa, who lit a fire under your cape this morning?"_

"_Phoebe, I'm not kidding leave me alone!"_

_"Ugh, fine."_

Fleeting footsteps flood my ears, thank God she's gone. Phoebe didn't know about my problems. The kinds that popped up hard, long, and burning in the middle of the night and lingered embarrassingly in the morning.

Avoiding her is not the best plan I'll admit, but I can't face her, not when I'm like this. What if I lose my cool and try something?

I hated this. Hated the fact that I know it's not right to want her, to have her, and have to see her every day. That wasn't my only problem, Billy and Nora were starting to grow suspicious and if they knew, they didn't say anything yet. It was only a matter of time before Phoebe figured it out herself.

* * *

The steam is thick and it fogs the mirrors in the bathroom, I swing the door open and she's standing there. Of all times we run into each other it has to be when I'm soaking wet in nothing but a towel hanging loosely over my hips. Of course, how could this not happen?

Silence.

_"Hey."_ I try to play it off, even though my heart is pounding against my ribcage.

"_I-I was… just looking… um –for something."_ Phoebe swallows for a second, eyes everywhere but on me.

A deep dark part of me wants to believe I saw something flash in her eyes and her tone sounded just a little bit _breathless_, or maybe I'm losing my freaking mind, I don't know. What I do know is that these hallways are far too narrow for my liking.

"_Whatever."_

I walk passed her, but made sure to brush my shoulder against hers, lingering far much more than I intended to and swear I felt her shiver. I needed to get out of there! My imagination was playing far too many games and the temptation to push her up against the wall was filling my brain.

* * *

Hands find their way to my chest and push me back a few steps. I am not expecting this. She's blocking me from getting into my room, this is stupid. She knows I'm the stronger one, I can easily _move_ her if I wanted to, but I don't.

She gets in my face and I glare down at her, begging for her to start a fight. I know that's not why she's here doing this. She wants some answers, but she's not going to get any from me.

"_You're avoiding me, aren't you?"_

_"No."_

"_Talk to me, please." _

_"God, Phoebe why can't you just leave me alone?"_

_"Why are you mad at me?"_

_"I'm not, just get out of my way."_

"_Not until you tell me what's wrong."_

It's not going to happen, there's no way I'm going to tell her what I've been feeling lately. She'll freak out. So many thoughts are swarming in my mind and I can't think straight. She's looking at me with those big pleading brown eyes and... and I give in to her.

"_It's you." _I confess.

"_...Me?"_

"I_ gotta go." _As gently as I can, I move her out of the way and she allows me too.

_"Wait."_

The next thing I know, Phoebe's kissing me and… I'm kissing her back. No thoughts, no more questions, only feelings.

Everything is so warm and soft, we don't know what we're doing but I like it that way. I just let go and let my body take over. My lips open under hers, she gasps. I'm getting addicted to her, she tastes so sweet and smells so nice, and I never want to let her go.

Her fingers are in my hair, she's stroking my scalp and it feels so good. Somehow I have her trapped against the wall and my lips are all over her, from her mouth to her chin, along her jaw and down her neck. She laughs, I know she's ticklish there.

I laugh back at her, when she tries and fails to dominate, my mouth covers hers. I grab both of her tiny wrists and pull them over her head, against the wall. She doesn't fight it. For once Phoebe backs down and lets me take over. Both our bodies feel like they're on fire and I can't get enough.

I'm very sure being in the living room, making out like there's no tomorrow is not a good idea at all, but I don't have the willpower in me to stop. I don't think I want to stop.

* * *

I'm yanked back on the collar by strength that is almost _superhuman_ and I finally realize.

_Oh No._

"_What is going on here?!" _My father yells at the top of his lungs.

I'm frozen, a flood of emotions, namely shock, ripple through me and I can't think. Phoebe locks her gaze onto me, waiting for some kind of story to come up with, but no ideas come to my mind. I have no clue how to explain to my father what he just saw.

Phoebe reads my mind quick.

"_Dad, it's not what it looks like."_

"_So then explain it to me." _His hands fly up in disbelief. _"Tell me I didn't just see what I saw!"_

"_Hank, what's going on?"_

Just then Mom walks into the living room, she looks worried as she walks closer to Dad. So many questions we don't have the answers to. Now things are going from bad to worse in a matter of seconds.

Dad's not saying anything, but he looks like he'll break something or _someone_ any moment.

"_I don't know, Barb?"_ He points an accusing finger at me. _"I just saw the two of them…"_

"_N-nothing was going on, we were just-"_

"_We were kissing." _I drop my head, I can't look either of them in the eyes. _"...I'm sorry."_

It all comes out.

Mom, Dad, and Phoebe turn to look at me, horror clearly written on their faces as I tell them the truth. There's no beating around it, I know the consequences but that doesn't change the way I feel about her, my _sister_. For some reason it feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest.

"_No." _My mother shakes her head. _"I don't believe it."_ Her big dark eyes stare at us, it's like she's refusing to believe that we could do something like this, and I don't blame her. _"They wouldn't."_

_"It wasn't Max's fault." _Phoebe jumps in and tries to put on a brave face. _"…I kissed him."_

"_Oh my God."_

I hear the pain in my mother's voice, the disgust and she begins to cry. I don't know what to do, there's a sharp stinging in my chest. I can't look at her, this is just too much to process right now.

"_Mom, Dad-"_

She cuts me off by holding up her hand. _"How could the two of you do something like this? You know better."_

"_Mom, we're sorry."_ Phoebe mutters.

"_Sorry?"_ She mimics my sister, now she's getting angry. _"You're sorry Phoebe-"_ She breaks off, and inhales sharply. It's something she only does to me, never to Phoebe. _"There are some things you just don't do. This is one of them."_

Phoebe drops her head. She knows this. I know this. But we just… couldn't stop.

I can only imagine what's going on in her head right now. Tears begin falling down her face, and I'm not thinking straight. So I move towards her. It's not a conscious decision. It's instinctual, something I can't control.

_"Don't!"_ Dad practically roars at me, and I don't feel like I've been yelled at. I feel like he just punched me and I reel back.

Phoebe turns and runs out of the living room. The sound of her room door slamming echoes in the house.

I get accusing looks. Yes, I deserve them.

* * *

I pack my bags. I don't know where I'm going but I need to go, somewhere anywhere. I have enough money saved up to get across town and go from there.

_"You're really leaving?"_ Her voice reaches my ears, it sounds so small, so unsure.

I don't turn around. I just keep on packing, because if I look at her I'm not sure what'll happen next.

_"Yeah."_

_"Oh."_ I can hear her fiddling with her bracelets. "_When are you coming back?"_

_"I'm not."_

_"What about your family Max? _

_"You guys will be fine. I was always the outcast anyway."_

_"What about... me?"_

_"I was a fool for thinking even for a second we could be together."_

Her eyes change, going hard, and her jaw clenches in defiance. God, I shouldn't find that _sexy_ in any way.

_"It's not just up for you to decide, Max. This involves me too and I want-"_

_"No! There is no what 'we want'."_ I groan, she's making it so hard to do the right thing. _"It was a mistake."_

_"So you're just going to run."_

_"What other choice is there?"_

_"I don't know, but not this. Max, please."_ She's cupping my face, eyes darting back and forth between my eyes and lips.

If she hadn't kissed me, none of this would have happened in the first. I'd still be pulling dumb pranks, and teasing her like I used to. No. I can't blame her for the mess we tumbled into, it was very much _my_ fault as it was hers. We both screwed up, but now I know how to fix it.

I look her straight in the eye and tell her the biggest lie I've ever told anyone in all of my seventeen years of living.

_"I never said I loved you, Phoebe."_

Phoebe takes a step back, she doesn't believe me, but she lets me go.

I used that as an opening to sling my backpack over my shoulders, climb the rocks and leave my room. I step out the window, and out of her life. If I ever see her again, I know nothing will ever be the same.


End file.
